via: mindofv.blogspot.com/2008/04/excerpt-from-george-carlin-on-rights.html
“Boy everyone in this country is running around yammering about their fucking rights. “I have a right, you have no right, we have a right.”
Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but… there’s no such thing as rights. They’re imaginary. We made ’em up. Like the boogie man. Like Three Little Pigs, Pinocio, Mother Goose, shit like that. Rights are an idea. They’re just imaginary. They’re a cute idea. Cute. But that’s all. Cute…and fictional. But if you think you do have rights, let me ask you this, “where do they come from?” People say, “They come from God. They’re God given rights.” Awww fuck, here we go again…here we go again.
The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument, “It came from God.” Anything we can’t describe must have come from God. Personally folks, I believe that if your rights came from God, he would’ve given you the right for some food every day, and he would’ve given you the right to a roof over your head. GOD would’ve been looking out for ya. You know that.
He wouldn’t have been worried making sure you have a gun so you can get drunk on Sunday night and kill your girlfriend’s parents.
But let’s say it’s true. Let’s say that God gave us these rights. Why would he give us a certain number of rights?
The Bill of Rights of this country has 10 stipulations. OK…10 rights. And apparently God was doing sloppy work that week, because we’ve had to ammend the bill of rights an additional 17 times. So God forgot a couple of things, like…SLAVERY. Just fuckin’ slipped his mind.
But let’s say…let’s say God gave us the original 10. He gave the british 13. The british Bill of Rights has 13 stipulations. The Germans have 29, the Belgians have 25, the Sweedish have only 6, and some people in the world have no rights at all. What kind of a fuckin’ god damn god given deal is that!?…NO RIGHTS AT ALL!? Why would God give different people in different countries a different numbers of different rights? Boredom? Amusement? Bad arithmetic? Do we find out at long last after all this time that God is weak in math skills? Doesn’t sound like divine planning to me. Sounds more like human planning . Sounds more like one group trying to control another group. In other words…business as usual in America.
Now, if you think you do have rights, I have one last assignment for ya. Next time you’re at the computer get on the Internet, go to Wikipedia. When you get to Wikipedia, in the search field for Wikipedia, i want to type in, “Japanese-Americans 1942″ and you’ll find out all about your precious fucking rights. Alright. You know about it.
In 1942 there were 110,000 Japanese-American citizens, in good standing, law abiding people, who were thrown into internment camps simply because their parents were born in the wrong country. That’s all they did wrong. They had no right to a lawyer, no right to a fair trial, no right to a jury of their peers, no right to due process of any kind. The only right they had was…right this way! Into the internment camps.
Just when these American citizens needed their rights the most…their government took them away. and rights aren’t rights if someone can take em away. They’re priveledges. That’s all we’ve ever had in this country is a bill of TEMPORARY priviledges; and if you read the news, even badly, you know the list get’s shorter, and shorter, and shorter.
Yeup, sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize the government doesn’t give a fuck about them. the government doesn’t care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare or your safety. it simply doesn’t give a fuck about you. It’s interested in it’s own power. That’s the only thing…keeping it, and expanding wherever possible.
Personally when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true: either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all.”

The overarching premise I’ve felt emerge in my psyche in recent years, and which is the circle-back reference of the comedy act in my head, is that “People don’t scale well.”
I don’t know if it’s reassuring or dispiriting that George Carlin already went there in some form. Reassuring, I suppose. Purely original thoughts are often insanity.

Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods ~ H. L. Mencken

TIGHT ON TABLE AS HANDS SLAM DOWN A PLATE OF PRODUCT, SENDING BITS OF FOOD FLYING.
FOLLOW ANGRY MAN LOOKING FOR FOOD
(MUSIC: Jingle) He’s hungry. He’s angry. There’s nothing. In his pantry. But he’ll survive ‘cause he has a plan.
SCOWL TURNS TO SMILE. HE HAS AN IDEA.
You got to satisfy the Angry Man!
HE REACHES FOR PRODUCT, MICROWAVES AND BURNS HIMSELF REMOVING STA-FRESH MICROWAVABLE LINER AND CRISPING FLANGE
ANGRY MAN: GAAAHH!
ANNCR: Nothing satisfies an angry man like the rib sticking, hard chewing challenge of an Angry Man dinner. It’s delicious, and all wrong in all the right ways!. Too Hot!
HE JUGGLES HOT DINNER BUT DROPS IT ON TABLE. HOT JUICE SPLASHES ON HIS SHIRT
ANGRY MAAN: GAAAH!!!
ANNCR: Too chewy.
ANGRY MAN WORKS HARD MASTICATING
ANNCR: Too much!
ANGRY MAN PUSHES THE FOOD AWAY IN DISGUST
JINGLE: Uh-oh, man he’s angry!
ANGRY MAN: GRRRR!
THE SCOWL SLOWLY TURNS TO A GRIN.
ANNCR: Keep your angry man happy, with Angry Man Dinners, available in five terrible specialties
JINGLE: Feed the man his anger, with Angry Man!