Crazy Aunt Christmas


A true song for families with crazy aunts, like our late Aunt Mary: Lyrics:

She gives us Christmas fun

Vintage Fudge Mix best used by June of ’91

Gifts wrapped in napkins, place mats she’s pilfered

or a paper bag

can’t make stuff up like that

with a scotch she melts into her seat

and settles in to take the view

of the frozen bay

Looking like Ben Franklin wearing mink

the tension breaks when we top her drink

and I think

Here’s to the Crazy Aunts at Christmas

I hope you got a Crzy Aunt, too

Everybody needs a crazy aunt

to bring a special something just for you

She avoids the shopping rush

with a Triscuit box what now holds

a gently used

lint brush

A cylinder can attracts my eye

a rusty can to make our own

kidney pie

From the corner of her drooping eyes

she’s watching as we reach for words

awkward words

She had no children to call her own

we’ll have to do

’cause she lives alone

but she’s not alone today

Here’s to the Crazy Aunts at Christmas

I hope you got a Crzy Aunt, too

Everybody needs a crazy aunt

to bring a special something just for you

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